You’ve gotta larf! 2

22 Mar
With thanks to Matt.

Something to think about!

22 Mar

 

PRIORITIES BY J.M. HULME

With half the world in shutdown

I find it strange to see

Loo rolls being the commodity

Folk consider a priority –

Alongside pasta – the new staple

We Brits need on our dinner table.

 

What happened to yesterday’s newspaper

Hanging on a nail?

When our only antiseptic gel

Was cold water from a pail?

Spaghetti was a foreign food

Heinz put in a tin –

And long-life milk, so disgusting

We threw it in the bin!

The only place to buy things

Was from the corner shop,

And the only Corona to find there

Was Dandelion and Burdock pop!

 

It seems now we need a lesson

On how to wash our hands,

We are so reliant on Facebook

Our heads stay buried in the sand.

We no longer make decisions,

Allowing others to cloud our visions,

As we scurry like Santa’s little elves

Grabbing loo rolls from the shelves.

 

from website:

Keep calm and self isolate!

21 Mar
The empty gym at BARONS at Scarborough rugby club
CHARLIE HOPPER

Following the government’s announcements on Thursday and yesterday I thought I would lapse into semi-seriousness from the tongue-in-cheek nature of this column whilst rugby is ‘away’. 

Many of you, mainly the older people and those with pre-existing conditions amongst our Scarborough rugby family, will have to self isolate for several weeks or even longer and although some of us has the comfort of a spouse or partner, others are on their own and could be suffering from loneliness, physical or mental problems or are distressed and isolated.  As one of the gang from SPOOKS’ CORNER I’ll miss our weekly COBRA (club oldies beer and rugby appreciation) meetings; seriously if any of you out there have ANY problems please contact the club and they will do everything in their power to help you and put you in contact with other members.

I was personally messaged by a young Valkryies player this morning enquiring if  I had any problems and if there was anything I need; I was very touched as she is a busy young mum with plenty on her plate; it fair warmed the cockles ‘o my old heart!

I am well aware that many of our older members either don’t use or eschew social media; however it’s early days yet and hopefully I can get this stuff into the Scarborough News shortly.

___________________________
Cheers,Dave
TEL: 07710 412510 MOBILE 01723 376339 HOME
Read the latest on Scarborough rugby and the big lockdown at: www.campbellrugby.com
and on Twitter at @Campbellrugby,

Highs and lows of a septuagenarian fugitive at the supermarket

18 Mar
Sainsbury’s this afternoon!

Slipped the bonds of my incarceration today to get a bottle of Famous Grouse from our local Sainsbury’s. However The prowling gangs of bulk buyers had made a preemptive strike and stripped the shelves of Scotland’s ‘holy water’.

Not only that but as I was mourning my loss. I heard a loud commotion coming from the store’s self-service checkout area. The high pitched screaming and bawling sounded as a some sort of assault was being perpetrated on a young lady, so I made my way to the area to find two what appeared to be 10 year old boys being led away in handcuffs by three burly coppers! Perhaps the undernourished-looking desperados we’re trying to nick some food? Things are getting desperate out here!

Anyway after all the excitement I had a few glasses of Senatagen to calm my nerves and was promised by a young lady at the store that if I come at the crack of dawn tomorrow I may just be able to buy a bottle of the restorative nectar. I’m kipping in my car; hope I don’t sleep in!

.

You gotta larf!

17 Mar
With thanks to Matt.

Day Two!

17 Mar
LOOK PRITI A COUPLE OF SEPTUAGENARIANS SNEAKING OUT TO PROUFOOTS; RING THE WRINKLY POLICE ON 777”

ON THE OTHER HAND WAIT ‘TIL THEY GET THERE!

Until further notice this blog has been re-named MUSINGS OF A SEPTUAGENERIAN FUGITIVE.

17 Mar

Chairman Boris made his first proclamation yesterday; no pub, no pictures, if you’re an old git no seeing the family and worse of all for me, no rugby club or rugby!

Scarborough RUFC pipped at the post in Silver Royd thriller.

14 Mar
JONTY HOLLOWAY SCORES IN THE CORNER

ALL PICTURES BY JENNY BROWN WOOD

Playing with the wind behind them Morley took the game to SCARBOROUGH from the start and spent the opening five minutes of the half camped in the home 22.

However great defence from the Seasiders kept their line intact and taking the game to the visitors, they scored a try in the eighth minute of the game. Scrum-half Jordi Wakeham made a break from halfway before releasing winger Angus frend who sprinted over in the corner. Fly half Tom Ratcliffe added the extras for a 7-0 Scarborough lead.

The Scarborough lead was extended further four minutes later when Jonty Holloway darted over to score; Ratcliffe failed to convert and Scarborough led 12-0.

ANGUS FREND SCORES HIS FIRST TRY

Morley reduced the deficit in the 34th minute when winger Jason Kenneally scored wide on the left, however the conversion hit the upright and Scarborough led 12-5 at the break.

Playing into the wind Morley struckback 15 minutes into the second-half when Nick Green crossed and touched down for a converted try to level the scores at 12-12 and it was game on.

The see-saw nature of the game continued when Frend bagged his second try on the hour; the kick was missed and Scarborough led 17-12. However the lead was short lived and the Leeds-based outfit crossed for an unconverted try to level the scores at 17-17 six minutes later.

in a nail-biting finale Morley were awarded a penalty in front of the Scarborough posts in the 79th minute and fly half Mark Chester obliged for a 20-17 win.

A losing bonus point was scant reward for the effort Skipper Drew Govier’s men put into a cracking game as they slipped to seventh place in this hugely competitive league.

CATCH CHARLIE HOPPER’S FULL REPORT IN THE SCARBOROUGH NEWS

Scarborough RUFC host Morley in vital league clash at Silver Royd tomorrow.

13 Mar
Via Tuilagi in action against Durham City
Picture: Jenny Brown Wood

With so many games off in the professional game, I’m glad to report that Scarborough’ s game with Morley at Silver Royd is definitely on. If the government don’t get down to banning grass root rugby then we should see one of the closest finishes (on the relegation front) in North One with eight clubs from fifth down to third bottom fighting to stay clear of the third relegation place.

NORTH ONE EAST INCL 7 March 2020

Both Scarborough and Morley are in that mix which should ensure a cracking game tomorrow; however Morley have won only two of their last ten game since the start of December last year and they were both at home. Scarborough on the other hand have won their last three games at home.

Last Saturday Morley were narrowly beaten 17-18 at home by second placed Cleckheaton whilst Scarborough went down to a heavy 7-43 defeat at Driffield. Before Christmas, Drew Govier’s men lost 9-15 at Morley under their ancient floodlights, many of which were not working.

For tomorrow’s game, experienced forward Phil Watson returns to strengthen the pack while Henry Hocking and Angus Frend return in the backs. Joe Nellist, Will Rennard and Sam Jackson are on the bench. Also at Silver Royd the Danesmen entertain Market Rasen RUFC; both games kick off at 3pm.

TOMORROW’S NORTH ONE EAST FIXTURES

When Scarborough and Morley met last season at Silver Royd, the Seasiders conceded a try in the 3rd minute before going on score eight of their own in a 50-17 win.

A rare pleasure!

9 Mar
Sean Maitland races over for his second try.

As a Scotsman, Scotland’s 28-17 win at Murrayfield against France yesterday was a rare pleasure indeed; simply because it doesn’t happen too often these days. Mohamed Haouas’ indiscipline and violent conduct had a bearing on the result; however I’m hoping against hope that we may have a bit more of the same in Cardiff on Saturday but I’m not holding my breath!

Ouch! Haouas’ punch changed the course of the game.
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